Raymond Thomen

November 20, 1948 ~ August 5, 2023
As most obituaries begin, Raymond Thomen was a beloved husband, father, and grandfather. Before that, he was a good son and brother – the eldest of four Thomens raised in Torrington, Connecticut. But beyond and between those titles, in his 74 years, there is so much more to this man whose life we celebrate today and remember always.
To the wife he leaves behind, Anna Marie Thomen, 72, he was the dashing young Navy man stationed just outside of Bayonne, New Jersey that caught her eye and called her “hon” for over 50 years of marriage and partnership.The wisecracking whip who took her dancing until 3 in the morning and for long walks on beaches from Long Island to Bermuda. For Ann, Ray was the man who told her he loved her every waking day until his last, who said over and over that “he’d never have married anybody else; no way, nobody like her!”, and whose enduring devotion for her was exceeded only by that for his children.
In the eyes of his son, Daryl Thomen, 40, and daughter, Tiffany Scoyne, 37, Ray was a hero and role model like no other – a hard worker who sacrificed long hours to his role in the NY Department of Transportation, continuing to serve his community long after he was honorably discharged from the U.S. military. He was bastion of morality and traditional ethics, leading by example with wry humor and warm generosity – as the family’s many friends that filled their humble home can attest. Then in later years, he became a pillar of strength, fighting hard for his life after an accident that nearly took it, and grateful to tears for every day he shared with the people he cared for.
But although he loved his children equally, his capacity for love was deep enough to love them differently.
To Daryl, he was “the pitcherman” … that is, when he wasn’t cheering so hard for the Little League team he coached that he was thrown off the field for excessive enthusiasm. He was Daryl’s Wednesday night wrestling viewing partner, who doled out advice about two-legged rats and taught him the importance of taking out the garbage. But most of all, Ray taught his son how to love freely – that real men showed their feelings and made sure that those they loved were never in doubt.
He taught that to Tiffany, too, and showed her how she deserved to be loved. He started her young as the parent who read her bedtime stories, took her to the pool then ice cream after, and when she was older, became her only ally in their shared excitement for the Islanders. But it wasn’t just sports. Ray was the father who absolutely adored being at dance recitals – “There’s nothing like a having a little girl,” he’d say – and even more when he finally joined her on that dance floor at her wedding to Jake Scoyne, 34.
When he became Papa to their daughter Gianna Maria, 3, and his smile lit up his eyes when their 5-month-old Mia Valentina’s did the same for the first time, that joy he had in having a little girl multiplied with these new lives.
Finally, to the Yankees, he was their biggest fan. Despite growing up in Connecticut, his passion for this team was legendary. He roared for them through leonine lungs and gave hitters standing ovations whether he was on the couch at home or at a restaurant among strangers. And at the last, after a five-month battle, it was their turn to cheer him on … on to the field of dreams as he slipped away peacefully to the sounds of a summer game.
My Uncle Ray was an awesome uncle, who took me to the movies and out for ice cream when I was young. I have so many great memories. His love for his family was awe inspiring. To my Aunt Anna Marie, Tiffany and Darryl, I am sending my love and prayers to you from Wisconsin. I wish I could hug each of you in person.